Your 800 pound anchor
“I breath every day, it’s not that big of a deal, what could breathing possibly change?” – Me, an idiot
10 months ago I did my first breathwork training with Ryan Kennedy. I had heard about his sessions for months and they came with nothing but rave reviews and so when I decided to have my own experience I had very high expectations that I would have an emotional, enlightening, transformational experience.
and to my own great surprise, my expectations were far surpassed.
This might be better than drugs
I don’t keep it much of a secret that I have used psychedelic drugs, specifically Mushrooms and LSD, for the majority of my life and still do. I find them to be safe, extremely effective therapy, and perception changing.
They aren’t a magic cure for anything, and I still have my own problems to work though. In fact working through problems is seems to be my forever journey – I think some people will be broken forever – people like me are destined to ride and endless, pointless, insane rollercoaster.
The point is, I just didn’t see wha breathwork could do that these powerful medicines that I was already taking couldn’t do…and now I get it. In many ways I think the breathwork is a safer and more controlled method to get the best part of psychedelics – the therapy – without having to break the law or go on a 12 hour acid trip.
Now,
I’m going to tell you the following story because it’s been so impactful to me, and I want to use my vulnerability to encourage you to actually do this process and not just daydream about self improvement but skip it because you doom scrolled your week away, like so many people do.
My dad and I had a tumultuous relationship. He wasn’t a bad guy, and he provided me a lot of stability, but our personalities and ideology were wholly incompatible since I was 13. My dad was a cynic, and a nihilist. This type of outlook, that the future is going to be bleak or somehow worse than the present, is devastating to any human and especially devastating to a child. My dad was also an antagonist, conservative in behavior, a homebody, and he liked control. I am a rebel by nature and this is deeply part of who I am – it’s not a phase. I’m loud, I take big risks, and I like that the world is massive and diverse and I am called to explore it.
We were opposites, and he spent a good chunk of his time trying to beat my personality out of me so I could fit into what he preferred. This was not a realistic outcome, and neither of us compromised.
When I turned 18 I joined the Army and never really returned home. From 18 to 39 we talked once or maybe twice a year, briefly, and never about anything of consequence. He passed away in late 2022 and despite our fractured relationship – I was left tormented.
I knew that our relationship could never be fixed now that he’s gone, and I knew that if he were still alive our relationship would also never be fixed. I felt as if I was in purgatory – this limbo where nothing could move forward but nothing was going to change.
Miss Kate and I could barely talk about my dad without me getting upset and every time the topic came up I would just swallow all these feelings with no game plan on how to fix any of this and worse, I was convinced that nothing could be fixed anyway. It was not a good situation but my day to day was mostly fine so I was carrying on.
and then came December of 2022
I was at an event where I went through Ryan Kennedy’s breathwork training and this specific session (he has many) was about letting go – and I went into it like I do everything, with 100% of my being.
It’s hard to describe the emotions and feelings I experienced, it’s much like a trip on psychedelics, but it’s focused and guided rather than chaotic and unpredictable like the medicine is. I cried like a babbling brook, I yelled to the sky that I forgive my dad, and I let go.
Emotions are a funny thing. If you were carrying a physical 800lb anchor for basically no reason you would immediately notice the unbearable weight on your shoulders and and let it go, but with emotions it’s much more difficult to notice we are carrying the weight. I barely really noticed until I let it go, but that’s what I was doing…and I really let it go.
The most surprising part
The business model of therapy is recurring monthly memberships. Same for pharmaceuticals, and sorta the same for psychedelic drugs.
What’s most interesting about this breathwork is that a single dose seems to have stuck, I literally don’t have this problem anymore, I am…cured?
My relationship with my dad will never be different, I haven’t changed my narrative about who he was or what we were to each other, nothing actually changed other than me and my mindset about the situation.
This isn’t to say I don’t have other things to work through, I do and always will, and admittedly I enjoy being an emotional rollercoaster. I also like overcoming adversity and becoming stronger, more confident, and every time I improve I like being able to come to this place and give these gifts to you
Now you
What’s your 800lb emotional anchor that you’re lugging around for no reason and don’t even notice?
(Or maybe you’re one of those well adjusted boring people and don’t have one lol)
You should try this breathwork ttraining. It’s zero risk, and unlimited upside. I don’t have an affiliate link, I don’t get paid for this, Ryan didn’t ask me for a review or a testimonial, he doesn’t even know I’m writing this
Look him up and do it.