The most destructive force on earth

A man who believes the future will be worse than the present is incapable of producing a better future for himself.

He is unable to take actions that would make life better because he doesn’t believe it’s possible and our actions are manifestations of our beliefs. This man won’t make sacrifices in the short term to benefit the long term because he doesn’t see the long term as something optimistic to strive for. He doesn’t bother collaborating with people on common goals because he thinks people are inherently evil or destructive, he doesn’t trust them, he doesn’t see why anyone else would bother.

He thinks optimism and good attitude are silly distractions for stupid people, this person is smart and a smart person knows we will all end in a bleak demise anyway.

Investing in himself, his health, his children, his spouse, his financial well being, art, friendships, and any effort to try new things will all over the years become futile,

I am talking about cynicism

The habits and behaviors that we choose for ourselves compound, this is a truism of life, and cynicism is no different. What happens if you don’t spend your time trying to improve? Instead of a body getting healthier, a bank account getting bigger, and social ties getting stronger, the world of the cynic slowly gets smaller. No one wants to be around a cynic, the person who doesn’t grow, the person who spews their negativity to everyone who will listen, the person who laughs at your optimism, the person who says “you won’t succeed”, and until his long pathetic cries of how terrible the future will be finally is self fulfilled. He will die alone. 

I saw this exactly this happen to someone in my family. The toxicity of my relationship with this person that for 30 years I thought something was wrong with me. The consequence of cynicism isn’t just a small life it will also poison those around you, including your loved ones.

Weapons for war​

Every time we interact with another person our attitudes battle over the dynamic of the group. Will optimism or pessimism prevail? Have you ever tried to stay in a good mood around someone who is sulking for an extended period of time? It’s brutally difficult. Over time, you will cave and they will give you the curse. 

This is a battle you need to win, here are 2 things I try to use constantly to make sure my good attitude dominates:

What could go right?

One of my life’s core principles is “Attitude is contagious”. I’ve been saying it for 20 years to specifically combat negative behavior and to make sure I’m always spreading optimism to whoever I came in contact with. When I met my Miss Kate though, we came up with the phrase “What could go right?” and we use it all the time. Instead of dwelling on what could go wrong – which could fill an infinitely long list if you wanted it to, we only talk about what could go right. It’s the same action: talking about what the future looks like, but it has the opposite result. Life will be full of hardship outside of our control but life will also be full of situations that we manifest, and those stem from our thoughts about the world. Ask yourself daily”What could go right? 

Cut it off with a bonesaw 

Cynicism is like gangrene: don’t try to treat it, just cut off the cursed limb immediately. As I said above, attitude is contagious, so think of cynicism like a zombie movie, you don’t try to cure the zombies, as soon as you know they have the disease you shoot them in the face with a shotgun

You are not stuck in your life as much as you might think. The only people you can’t cut out of your life are your children, literally everyone else can be cut out of if they have to be. I don’t say this lightly, I’m not even saying I’m good at it, but I do know this correct remedy.

If you try to fix a cynic, you will fail and they will absorb you

Reflection

I was a professional fuckup until my early 30s. Spending all my money on bullshit. I read zero books, I had a bad attitude, and I was arrogant. My life was going nowhere and I was on that path for an embarrassingly long time. I did this because I was scared of going to college, I didn’t think I could save any money or ever buy a house, the world seemed too scary and big to tackle so I avoided it. I call it my lost decade. I had to reach a pretty low point in life (aka arrested) before I made a radical commitment to change. Somehow I conjured up this wild belief that if I made big sacrifices today for a greater good in the future that I would be rewarded. This is optimism as an idea, this is where it starts, actions follow. What was the greater good? Financial responsibility, a significant investment in knowledge, a deliberate choice of social groups, and a commitment to finding a creative outlet.

It worked 

It worked so well that the overwhelming majority of people in my life know me only as this reborn Alex. They don’t realize how dramatically I had to chang things, but that’s ok, I know and I did it. That gives me wild confidence that optimism can change a person even if they are starting late in life and from behind, because I personally did it.

The reason for this post is because this past weekend I found myself unexpectedly head butting back into my old life. I saw a glaring display of what life would be if I didn’t make these optimistic and difficult decisions, and I got clarity on how drastically my life had changed. I saw the cancer of cynicism embodied, it was not only ugly, it seemed proud. I’m very much still feeling and processing this but without a doubt the thing I feel most now is burdened with glorious purpose.

Optimism and Cynicism are not black and white, you aren’t one way or the other. Instead, you choose your attitude every time you interact with another human being, every time you make a decision about how to spend your time or resources, what you spend your time thinking about, what conversations you have with your inner dialogue. I’m thankful that I’ve chosen a lot of optimism this past decade and now that I have the fruits of it’s investment my only regret is that I didn’t invest more, now that I see how the small slippery slope of negativity adds up I want to try even harder to be a force for good.

If you read this and this affected you, please do one or all of the following:

• Tell me over text 910.850.8127
• Join my WhatsApp group and share some optimism
• Make an uplifting post on social media to spread a good attitude to others
• Ask someone in your life (preferably face to face) “What could go right? and see if it makes their day better 

Lastly, I will leave you with an appropriate quote from one of my favorite all time books:

“When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams — this may be madness. Too much sanity may be madness — and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!” - Don Quixote